Beneath with you
by kingleby
Summary: Yuri speaks to Alice's grave shortly after her death. Oneshot


**Beneath with you**

Disclaimer: I own nothing sniff

I'd like to thank: Lord Kain, Puffy Tribulation and Jackie Almasy for pointing out my mistake on where Alice was buried. Also thank you to MikoNoNyte for correcting Death Emperors name for me, lol, it's been a while since I played the game. Thank you all for reviewing and helping out I've made changes now so I hope its better!

The day I fail to protect you will also be the day I die. That's what I told you Alice, yet here I am beside your grave and still breathing. Breathing but not alive. How can I ever feel alive again now that you are gone? At first all I could think about was the reason you are dead, and I knew it was to do with those stupid masks. With the fusion monsters that a part of me.

It felt like that winter day in Japan again; the day my mother was murdered by those monsters. The day I became a monster myself. I failed to protect the one I loved yet again, how can I feel alive after that? I lost control that winter day, tearing those zombies that killed my mother to pieces. And I lost control again when you died; I dug your grave with my bare hands because I knew it was all that mattered anymore.

If Gepetto hadn't been there I would have dug a hole beside you laid in it. All I want is to see you again, to be with you always. Why can't I have that? Haven't I done enough in this world to be granted death?

I can still remember what Koudelka's voice told me when I first found you. _Dark and light reunite, protect and you'll find your reason for living. _Protect. In the end I didn't protect you, and I have no reason for living. I failed you.

Even now I've calmed down a little I still visit here every chance I can. It always goes the same way, me talking about anything I can think of, never pausing so that reality couldn't bite me in the butt over and over. But I always give up after a while and lay beside your grave, yearning to be closer to you, beneath with you.

Ever since my parents died I've half longed for death, ever since I became a harmonixer. But at first it was the fusion souls who wouldn't allow that. Death Emperor tried to control me, to destroy my will power. When I was younger there were times he succeeded , causing innocent deaths that were never going to be bad people. Yet I did manage to grow stronger than them and stopped their taunting voices inside me. I became in control of them but life was still unappealing until the day Koudelka's voice began guiding me to do good. And by doing that good I was eventually led to you Alice.

_Protect and you'll find your reason for living._

I will never forget our journey together, not a single moment of it. It meant so much; it made me feel alive again for the first time in fourteen years. It helped me avenge my father; learn the truth; conquer the darker part of my soul. But most of all I found my reason for living. It was you.

And now you're buried beneath me and I can't reach you. I want to be beside you. I don't want to live without you.

_Protect._

There's a little girl in Domremy called Jeanne who is trying to protect her home. There's a wolf that helps her and I admit they're doing a pretty good job. But the war has started and they need help. Tht village needs to be protected. They've done so much for me here. I want to help. I want to protect them and then maybe I'll be able to live again. Maybe then your sacrifice would have been worth something.

I know I can't just throw your life away after what you did for me, because that would mean everything we had was for nothing. I won't do that. What we had was beyond everything; I can't just make it nothing now. But now I must do something worthwhile with my life and I can't bear the idea. How can I do something worthwhile when you are no longer here? How can I ever feel whole again let alone help others to find hope. I have no hope anymore. I have no life. I am just here, breathing without you and hating it.

The soil is moist and sticking to me, but I don't care. I just want to lay here beside your grave. Maybe if I want it enough I will sink into the ground and lay beside you, no longer breathing when you have stopped. But if I did that you would hate me for not living. I have to live; I have to do more than just breathe.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

I have to live, but I don't know how._ Protect and you'll find your reason to living._ Perhaps that is all I will ever do in order to be alive again. But I'd rather it was you I were protecting Alice, I loved it when I protected you.

I wouldn't fail to protect you again. And I won't.

The village of Domremy has helped me; they let me stay there while I was nothing more than a burden. So maybe if I protect the village that protected me I can be protecting you again. Maybe it will all be worth it then. Maybe.

I love you Alice, I hope you know that where you are now. I love you an think of you in every moment. With every breath.

I will continue to protect you by protecting others. I will love you by obeying your wish: by living. I breathe now, but maybe by protecting Domremy I will live again. I will live for you. Only you; remember that.

And I think I know the perfect fusion soul to help me.


End file.
